monkeywithabutcherknife

Well, there are only three days left in my current weekday habit. I came in a couple hours early due to my concern about getting everything done by Friday. I’m backing up my work computer to a usb drive, as is my custom, cause someone is always looking for something I might have had and I’ll never be able to remember where on the network I moved it to right before I left. Interesting fact about that: My desktop folder is 53 GB. And I mean the desktop folder, not my whole machine. Apparently the extra real estate you gain from dual monitors resulted in me acting like this is my first computer and I don’t understand how the whole “folder thing” works.

Anyway, gotta boogie.

It is my policy not to discuss work other than in passing. But I’m sure my readers assumed I work, well maybe not both my readers but at least one of them must have. Well, as of Friday, I resigned my position and my last day will be Jan 29th. Its not necessary that I mention the company by name or get into the reasons I’m leaving. That would be inappropriate. All I will say is that I learned a lot, had more good times than bad, and made some new friends.

So, what the hell am I going to do? Well, I’m going it alone. Freelance. In other words, I’m going on a ramen noodle diet. So I’ll be setting up the Valence Street site again, starting a twitter and facebook presence….you know, all the shit you have to do to get the word out that you’re starving to death due to a lack of work. Alright, enough of that. I’m actually very excited about this opportunity. I’ll be prosthelytizine how amazing I am at what I do. Hey, it worked for the Christians right? I’ll do my best not to project that whole, Amway/Life Insurance salesman thing. But, lets face it, if I’m going to do this I need to find some work.

By now you must be thinking….’wow, you are a really impressive unemployed person. how can i help?’. (i always imagine other people think in lower case.) Well, I’ve anticipated your desire to help someone so amazing as myself and have devised several options:

1. If you would like to send Money you can send it to Haiti through the Red Cross or other respectable organization.
2. If you would like to send Food you can send it to Haiti through the Red Cross or other respectable organization.
3. If you want to send Clothing you can send it to Haiti through the Red Cross or other respectable organization.

I think you get my point. I mean really, those cats down there are fucked. So if anyone can help out at all I think its the right thing to do. There aren’t a lot of opportunities to help someone un-fuck their life. Don’t miss this one.

And on a more inappropriate note, anyone who’s ever given money to Pat Robertson, or any of his ilk, I want you to figure out how much money you’ve given over the course of your lifetime, double that amount and send it to Haiti right away. Stupid doddering old man makes me…I’ve known a few doddering old men in my time. Hell, I intend to be one when I get a little older. You know what the difference is? No one is going to pay attention to me. No one is going to send me buckets of money for saying ignorant shit. Fuck that guy. I hope his ass falls inside out.

And just in case you missed what I’m referring to, you can read this: I’m linking to another site cause I don’t even want his face on my site.

Haiti – Help – Do it.

There aren’t a lot of universal truths in the world. And I’ve checked so just take my word for it. One universal truth is that when given the opportunity, put another log on the fire/fuel in the heater. Another universal truth, if zombie movies are to be respected, and I think they are; is that someone will always get out of the quarantine. Last night I added another universal truth to the list: If you turn on VH1 at any time day or night you’re very likely to see someone who’s competed on American Idol. I don’t really care – its just odd is all.

And on a fairly unrelated note, other than it also occurred to me last night….I grew up in Cincinnati; a town that once in my youth elected Jerry Springer mayor, who, during his term in office was forced to resign for writing a check to a prostitute (or something like that) if I’m remembering correctly. Amazingly, as high as that piece of political driftwood has been set, I am much more appalled by mayor C. Ray Nagin and wonder how many more checks he’s going to write (in come cases figuratively) before his ridiculous term in office finally goes completely flaccid. It seems to me he only has a few months left to hump that dying carcass that is New Orleans’ quality of life. He’ll have to hurry if he wants to get back to the political frat house before the date-rape-drugs wear off. Again, I don’t really care – its just odd is all.

As I was writing this, a commercial came on for “Perfect fit button”. Its a button with the back like an ear ring that you can move around on your pants so they’ll fit. “When you lose weight just move the button” seem a bit optimistic to me. Kinda like chicks on the home pregnancy test commercials being happy when its positive – I’m not saying it never happens, I’m saying it probably not the norm. And if you’re buying a button that you can move around on your pants so they’ll fit I can’t help but think the fact that your Triathlon training has been going especially well was not the inspiration for the purchase. I want about a thousand of those buttons so I can completely bedazzle a Rolling Elvi jumpsuit for Mardi Gras with them.