So not one of you fuckers ever posts a comment but GOD FORBID I should be busy for a while and not have time to entertain you with my dribble. I’m sitting in a hotel room in Addison, Texas (outside Dallas) Buckets of fun I assure you. Luckily, its halloween so I can attribute my soaking fear to that.
Halloween in Texas – scariest thing ever!
Alright bastards. Today is going to suck!! How do I know? Well, when you’re awaken at 5am by the sounds of the Pokemons (my own nickname for the Asian couple in the room next door), hhmmm, how shall I say it? Uh, “fucking like they just saw a mushroom cloud on the horizon”, there’s no way to have a good day.
On the bright side, I now know how to say “Who’s your daddy” in Japanese (at least I think that’s what that means – I could be wrong).
But that’s not all. I usually don’t have the immigrants clean my room every day since i don’t clean my own apartment every day, but yesterday was the day for them to clean. So I get home from work and there’s this pillowcase lying on my unmade bed that had what looked like shoe polish on it. It was, by far, the worst room cleaning at a hotel I have ever seen. Those mooks at the front desk need to do a little better job of motivating their impoverished, underpaid, underappreciated, illegal immigrant work force!
When the squealing and grunting stopped I got up and now I’m watching CNN and eating cold, leftover Dominos Chicken Kickers from the secret refrigerator in my room and not looking forward to the rest of the day.
[picture missing]
I was sitting on the toilet (6th floor, last stall) in the Grace Building on Avenue of the Americas in Manhattan, New York taking a big, wet, steamy crap. I was looking at the floor and saw a monkey with a butcher knife in the pattern of the tile floor. For me, this is like finding Mother Mary on a slice of toast. And to be honest, just as valid. It occurred to me to pry the tile up and sell it on eBay, but then, it also occurred to me to seek psychological council. I’m not sure what it means but it seems that the cosmos is on my side.
Since I don’t have a logo, maybe I should just use this? I dunno. It’s interesting that I’ve been in New York for a week and these are the only pictures I’ve taken so far. Oh, there’s nothing wrong with me a pharmacist can’t solve.