monkeywithabutcherknife

Now that’s what I’m talk’n ’bout!

Well, the beta version, which means its a test version of the software, seems to be alright. I’m very happy with it overall. Some things are kind of buggy though and I’m going through the code attempting to fix them. For example, if you refresh the screen, the Amazon shit doesn’t work. There are other things, but what do you expect from a free product that’s still in testing? I’m trying to get the server to install some image resizing software but its being a bitch about it so it may be a while. The site’s been up and running for a while now and seems to be stable and quick as far as displaying the page(s) so I’m going to continue to slowly add functionality. If anyone has any suggestions on what they’d like to see the site do, just put it in the shoutbox and I’ll look into it. I still haven’t gotten the email thing worked out just yet because of challenges with the way my host handles email. I’m working on it and should have it taken care of soon.

Thanks for all the support.

Sorry for the lack of entries the last few days – I’ve been sick as hell. I coughed up what can only be described as a piece of S.O.S. pad on the way into work this morning. Which makes me think smoking isn’t good for you. This illness is exactly like what I had during Mardi Gras a couple of months ago – bastard! This time I picked it up from one of the guys I work with, I think. Cubeworld is such a nasty, dirty, filthy place. I think companies use that as an incentive to kiss ass so you can have your own office. Then they threaten to send you back out into ‘the yard’ if you don’t come up with enough inane things to say each week. I’m still not completely better, but living in New Orleans, if you miss one day of work, people assume you’re hung over, two days and they assume you’re on a bender, Anything over that and you’re risking some sort of counseling. So I like to show back up before I’m completely well; partly to show that I really am sick, and partly in an attempt to make people sick who have young, school-age children at home. I’m not being mean; I’m just testing this ‘pandemic theory’ I have. It’s all very scientific.

I went to a seminar on research several years ago and the basic premise was simple: ‘If you follow the money trail, it will lead you to the agenda’. I don’t remember who the speaker was but on the way out I picked up a copy of the speech and would read it every now and then over the next few years. One of the details that struck me as so completely insane was that the Partnership for a Drug Free America actually gets a large portion of their money from pharmaceutical drug companies. It just didn’t make any sense to me.

This would have been around the time that some laws were changed and pharmaceutical companies could advertise prescription drugs. When I was growing up, there were no prescription drug commercials and I bet most Americans couldn’t name any prescription drugs other than ones they knew they were allergic to. But, in their defense, the names were complex words and phrases and nearly impossible to pronounce. The doctor was no help. He’d just say ‘I’m giving you an antibiotic, take one every…blah, blah, blah.’ I know the drug companies advertised to doctors with pens and prescription pads and such, but somehow I don’t think that was very effective. Well, it was effective in the sense that the doctor would listen to my symptoms and use his best judgment on what to do about it. When that judgment meant a prescription, then chalk one up for the drug companies. How strange it must have been for the doctors when people started asking for the prescription drug they want. If challenged that they may not need that, thanks to the commercials, they know what symptoms they’ve convinced themselves they have and can spit them out like a jingle.

The din of pharmaceutical advertising is reaching unbelievable levels. And after over ten years of being told that there is a pill for every situation life may find you in, the fact is, the pharmaceutical drug companies now own the American people. There are a lot of groups out there on the internet that support my claims that the drug companies are up to no good. Some of those people are reputable and others are weird conspiracy theorists – I am neither. So, having said that, here’s a link to a report by the assholes at the Partnership for a Drug Free America, that’s on their own site. Because America had an illegal drug problem, the drug companies knew there was an addict demographic out there, all it took was some advertising dollars to control them and as luck would have it, even people who were dissuaded by the illegal nature of some drugs were more than willing to be an addict to something legal.

I am such a huge Monty Python fan and I know a lot of people have been having a hard time in the last few months so I hope this helps. And if you’ve never seen ‘The Meaning of Life’, turn the computer off, go to the video store and rent it right now.

The Galaxy song from “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life”

Just remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving
And reolving at nine thousand miles an hour.
It’s orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it’s reckoned,
‘Round the sun that is the source of all our power.
Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at fourteen thousand miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred million stars;
It’s a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it’s just three thousand light-years wide.
We’re thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go ’round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, that’s the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you’re feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space,
‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth!

Last night I went out after work for a beer. I went to the Bulldog Uptown and in spite of the shady fuckers on the patio that call themselves ‘religion on tap’ which I clearly think is the worst idea in the world, I managed to run into a friend I haven’t had a chance to talk with privately in quite some time. It’s funny how you see people and you just don’t get to really talk. And just in case that wasn’t enough, I also had a very nice conversation with a complete stranger – which is rare to say the least. Anywho, I just thought I’d put something a little more positive out here for consumption by anyone who wasn’t run off by yesterday’s rant. It’s all about balance and timing people; balance and timing.

Otherwise known as “conclave” to those of us not fluent in an archaic, dead language. The word actually means “locked with a key” and I was thinking how appropriate that is. There are other symbols in the process that are very telling: They lock themselves behind closed doors so as not to be disturbed by the outside world; or so reality won’t get in the way. They take an oath of secrecy. Hell, they wear red capes! If I put on a red cape, locked myself in a room with 114 other men (also in red capes) and swore everyone to secrecy, they’d lock my ass away – and rightfully so. Seems to me, the fastest way to tell if someone’s crazy is they’re wearing a red cape and claim that God is talking to them.

Now that all the rabbit’s feet have been rubbed the requisite number of coins tossed, we have a new pope. Benedict XVI, or, as I like to call him, ‘The Cardinal formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger’ made some interesting statements yesterday:

“Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the church, is often labeled today as a fundamentalism,” (said during the homily). It’s a very true statement…because that’s what fundamentalism means, though I prefer the word fanatic. But he wasn’t done there – there’s more:

“Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and ‘swept along by every wind of teaching,’ looks like the only attitude acceptable to today’s standards.” I’m curious what he means by ‘wind of teaching’? Probably unimportant little details like evolution, equal rights for women, a fundamental understanding of biology and disease that would prevent you from telling a bunch of people in the middle of an AIDS epidemic to not use condoms, or maybe he meant the general idea of critical thinking in any way whatsoever. If the church wasn’t based in something imaginary, they probably wouldn’t have such a problem with questions being asked. But wait there’s more…

“We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one’s own ego and one’s own desires.” Interesting take on ego from someone who’s now claiming, or at least designated, as God’s number one guy. And as for not recognizing anything as for certain – whatcha got? And is that what he really meant? I mean, the Muslims seem to have a very sincere certainty in their beliefs, as do many other non-Catholics. I think he’d have been more earnest in saying that people don’t recognize “my certainty”. And it’s very clear why he would feel that way, he was just hours from being declared to one of the most influential positions on the planet and it just wouldn’t do for a bunch of bastards to not acknowledge that.

I find the whole process laughable and if I’d been born just about any other time in the last 2000 years they’d have burned me at the stake – because that’s what these assholes do. So if this seems harsh – fuck you. I’m not obligated to participate in someone else’s fantasy. Given a chance, I have no doubt the Catholic Church would bring back the inquisition to force people to believe as they do and everybody should remember that. Just like rotary phones, the Catholic Church’s time has past and for my part I’d like to see all Catholics walking around in red capes…..just so I know who they are.

The coven is getting together for a conclave today at the Vatican. They?re supposed to be asking God for guidance in choosing a new pope. And that?s cute in a ?hey, look at my magic rock? way, but it doesn?t explain the two thirds majority needed. Seems to me if God says “PICK BOB” then the bitches outta pick Bob. No voting – no math. And then there?s this secrecy thing where whatever happens in the room stays in the room. Nice Vegas touch to the whole thing but it also looks like they?re all consenting adults so if someone comes out feeling all violated: too bad!! I can?t help but think getting that many catholic officials together is going to result in someone getting felt up. I also heard a theory that they?re playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

I’d like to say a few things about the

site itself. It’s powered by Serendipity which is PHP based. It’s

free software and I very much recommend it. The site is hosted on a

Linux Server at 1and1.com. I’ve been using them a couple of years as part of a

free trial I heard about through the geek grapevine. So this site

really costs me less than $10 a year for the name (and that’s worth

every penny). Any links I put in an entry, like the PHP one above

you’ll just have to look at the context to know what I think about

it, but any other links or ads around are things that I personally

like and recommend. In the case of the Amazon link, there is a slight

chance that I could make money off of it, but that isn’t the point at

all (it’s like .1% of whatever people buy there if they follow my

link and buy an item I recommended or something pathetic like that).

Either way, it doesn’t destroy my credibility because I hand picked

every item that shows up in the box, which took quite a bit of time.

It was a pretty easy way to display the books, music, and movies I

like in case anyone gives a damn. And speaking of giving a damn, I

really don’t give a damn if anyone buys anything there ? I have a

job and this isn’t it. And I don’t want to hear anyone bitching

because I like thinkgeek and you went there and couldn’t find

anything you like ? too bad. I don’t have the email set up yet, but

when I do, if you have something you think is cool and want displayed

then you can email me the link and I’ll check it out. Also,

you can email me if you want to be a contributor to thee site. I’ll

have it set up soon but for now just use the shoutbox. For now

comments are unmonitored and I’d like to leave it that way, but the

Internet is a big scary wood and assholes are indigenous. I’m working

on some guidelines for comments but I’d rather not since common sense

will go a long way. One piece of advice I would offer here is not to

put an email address in any comment or entry (you can spell out the @

as ?at? and the . as ?dot?). I don’t have time to get into

why, just trust me ? I know these things. The site is a living

thing in my mind and today’s it’s birthday so give it time to grow up

a little before you write it off.

I sleep like a caveman caught in the
ice. Arms and legs every which way, head all twisted and an
expression of confused amusement; this is when I’m most relaxed.
That’s odd and its occurred to me that I might be a very tense
person. I don’t think I used to be though. Since my late teens I seem
to project an intensity, but I’ve never been sure where that comes
from. Recently someone told me ?Drink your juice, Shelby. Drink
your juice? which is a somewhat obscure quote from Steel Magnolias
where the chick was having a seizure. Over the years that intensity
may have may have generated a state of tension. A few years ago I
made a sincere attempt to make sure I at least have a quiet core. It
worked for a while. No matter how it looked on the surface I felt a
sort of peace inside. That’s long gone. However intense I appear now,
your just seeing what can seep out and inside there’s a torrent of
activity ? actually more of a shit-storm. So consider this fair
warning that this blog is a repository where I can scrape the stains
from my shorts and smear it all over the Internet. enjoy!