If anyone is wondering what I listen to….
Here’s my current favorite.
Go to the site, buy the album - you won’t regret it.
Uh, but don’t tell them I posted this or they’ll make me take it down. 
Like the rest of the world, I’m not going to be all too productive today. Knowing this makes planning crucial - as in “don’t do any planning at all”. So you can imagine how happy I was to find that there’s a Loony Toons marathon on today on the Cartoon Network. It runs until this evening. This is seriously all the cartoons I grew up on that caused this condition of loving cartoons I now have.
I hope this signifies a good year starting out.
Well, I like this for several reasons:
And this is a list of my most impressive poo piles. They have been thrown far and wide. If you’ve liked the site over the years this will be a good reminder as to why you keep coming back. And if you don’t like the site, then it just kind of silly that you’re even reading this - so you deserve what you get. And lastly, to any new readers that just stumbled across this - I appologize. Really. Sorry about this.
In no particular order:
And lastly, I have to say, I have a particular love of this one post: Bastille Day
I hope you all enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them.
Thanks.
Well, I’m back, my hapless mooks. With new software, and a new server. I’ve migrated all the old posts (which didn’t come over clean so I had to “touch them up”) and in the process I got review the long history of bad decision making that I collectively refer to as ‘monkeywithabutcherknife.com’.
Consider this my Christmas present to you all - it isn’t coal, but pretty close since if you print out the posts you can burn them and they are of little use otherwise.
Maybe this time I can hold it together enough to post with some regularity. We’ll see.
Now listen to the base go Boom!
*:LL Cool J
“Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM”
Do you just not want anyone to live here? Is that it? Or is it that the city isn’t “Chocolate” enough for you? Could you please, take a break, replenish your fluids and catch your breath. You must be exhausted from FUCKING US FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS!! You’re a fucking joke. You’re budget is a fucking joke. And you’ve made this city a fucking joke.
My personal favorites:
Underfunding the Inspector general.
No money to the ethics review board
That doesn’t make you look like a crooked bastard at all. You should thank your fucking stars someone like me isn’t the inspector general. Underfunded hu, well then I probably only have the resources to investigate one crooked mother fucker; but on the bright side I wouldn’t have to rent office space because I’d push my fucking desk right up against yours and stare at you all day. Every meeting, every appearance. Brother, we’d be taking showers together. Maybe the next mayor will fund the office a little better. I’d be all in your business with a pen light and a dental mirror. I’d be reading your fucking mind. YOU SUCK!!
And I defended the new assessments! Now you want to roll 2 mills forward?!?! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Alright mother fucker. You win. I can’t sell the house cause the market is in the shitter, but I can sure board that fucker up and walk away. I’ll keep one side rented out if possible and hope some crackheads break in and burn it down while I’m living elsewhere. Anybody familiar with Austin: what part of the city should I live in? Like everyone else with an option, its time to start moving on. There’s nothing holding me to this dysfunctional fuck-storm you’ve created in the aftermath Mayor McFuck. At this point I would almost venture to say that you’ve actually done more damage to more people than Katrina did. I don’t know how you can fucking sleep at night.
And I’m turning off comments cause I don’t want to fucking hear it.
Unconfirmed reports of a fatal shooting on Valence Street this evening about a block from the shanty. Corner of Valence and S. Liberty. No further details available at this time. Very bad.
Update: I just heard on wwl that the police are on the scene of a shooting near Upperline and Magnolia - about five blocks from the murder last night - or, as I like to think of it, three blocks on the other side of the shanty.
Anybody wanna buy a piece of shit house in a bad neighborhood? I’ll throw in a free p-row.
And a little more for good measure….this is from the second district email blast….it didn’t even make the news that I know of:
“On October 27th at or about 9:35 pm, the victim left his residence in the 4900 block of S. Saratoga Street and proceeded to his girlfriend’s residence in the 2700 block of Robert Street . When the victim drove up to the location, he observed nobody was home, so he continued driving. As the victim reached the corner of Freret and Valence Street , an unknown make/model/color car pulled next to him. A single shot came from the vehicle, striking him in his cheek. The victim proceeded to drive himself to the Hospital. In speaking with officers, the victim could provide no description of the suspect or the suspect vehicle. No evidence could be located on the scene and no witnesses could be located. While the victim said that he knew of no reason why someone would shoot him, his criminal record does include a drug conviction.”
You may remember that some three months ago I posted this. Then near the middle of August I mentioned the outcome in the fifth paragraph. Well apparently I George Bush Aircraft Carriered that shit a little too soon. Because a few weeks ago (the end of September) the can went missing. I had done everything they told me to: I spray painted the house number on it, but it’s still gone. I’ve been putting off calling them because they’re a nightmare to deal with. The customer service reps are some of the dumbest people I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with. They’re poorly educated, teeth smacking women who probably can’t spell customer service let alone provide it - not that I’m surprised.
This morning I broke down and called because its unfair to my tenant not to have a trash can although, collectively, we don’t fill up one can in a whole week. Still its my responsibility. So I was informed that I’d have to buy one. See the one that I never saw was the first one, the one they brought out was the replacement. And you only get one replacement and after that you have to buy them. But hey, it’s only $100. Hmmm, that seems like a bit much. I don’t mean that $100 is an unfair amount for a 96 Gallon trash can. I’m saying that requiring everyone in the city to have a 96 gallon trash can is a bit much. I live alone and the trash comes twice a week so its a little overkill. But you have to have a standard so I guess they used the Brady Bunch as a model.
A couple of things really bother me though. First of all, before all this happened I already had a trashcan and it was a pretty low stress deal. Someone actually littered a trashcan in my yard so I started using it. It was a good situation. It was a brownish 40 gallon job. Since this new, improved process was put in place by Mayor McFuck I’ve spent quiet a bit of time dealing with trash can issues. But hey, at least it’s more expensive. The other thing that bothers me is that they can’t really tell me how to keep someone from stealing one again. That was my concern last time and they basically lied and told me they have a tracking system. Well it hasn’t worked on the first two stolen cans, so what the fuck?!? You can’t chain them up, you can’t put your name one them, There’s really nothing you can do except buy the thing and stick it out to be stolen. And it isn’t like you can just run to Lowes and buy one - no fucking way - you have to buy them from the same people who insist you do nothing to keep them from getting stolen.
And in the grand scheme of things, this really isn’t important. It’s just like Chris Rose’s problem with parking tickets. Really, its a simple little thing that should be so easy and seamless that you never give it more of a thought than remembering to put the can on the curb the right day. It’s a fundamental city service that should, and in most cases is, taken completely for granted. But for me it has been a time consuming, unbearably frustrating pain in the ass and I see no reason to suspect it will not continue to plague me.
But hey, if they wanna play then we can play. Trash pickup is tomorrow morning so I think this evening, in addition to the regular garbage I’ll be filing up the rest of the empty space with water from the garden hose. If they’re lucky, I won’t dump in the extra 160 lbs of high strength concrete I happen to have left over from leveling the shanty. Bastards.
First of all, everyone should read this story. The T-P isn’t a great paper with the bad grammar, spelling errors, and lack of aggressive reporting. But this story is really all around great. gotta give’em credit on this one.
Now let’s see if I understand what their talking about. Under a thinly veiled attempt to make it look like they’re doing it for the good of the entire 6th district, a couple of the wealthiest people in New Orleans don’t want to pay property tax. Nice. So to do this, they’re challenging the assessment method. They seem to be claiming that the city’s one assessor isn’t following the same method as the other assessors, which by my understanding is why she was put in place: to reform. So right there is a problem. All the other city assessors have no credibility at this point so it doesn’t matter if they agree or not. Moving on…
They say Marshall isn’t being fair in her assessments of Audubon Place, but that’s a little abstract. See, the street is guarded so no one can get in - not even the assessors. And the sales records are all sealed so no one knows what the last sale price was. Then there’s the idea that you live in a very exclusive area - only 27 houses owned by 25 people where at least one of those houses is owned by a trust set up by John Georges for his sons (guess who I’m not voting for). So to say the assessment isn’t fair is kind of an odd complaint. Seems to me a big ol’ bucket of “FUCK YOU” would even qualify as fair. Fact is, these people have gone out of their way to avoid fair. They don’t want to be treated fairly…they want special treatment. If they didn’t then they could gather their documentation and challenge the assessment like everyone else who didn’t like it.
Those are probably some of the most expensive houses in Orleans Parish but this law suit really makes it look like a trailer park in my eyes. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who’s property tax is twice my annual income. And if they do take it to court, then all their dirty laundry is going to be hanging out on that nice ornate fence there to keep the peasants out. I suspect (and hope) the outcome of this case is that the property is assessed higher due to better information being available. But personally, I think they’re bluffing and are just trying to get Marshall to back down.
Stand Strong!! Call their bluff!! Then at least we’ll know what the properties on that street are really worth.
